April 2010
8 posts
6 tags
Is sex complicating or complementing your...
By Denise Humphrey, Ph.D., www.DeniseHumphrey.com The tragedy of sexual intercourse is the perpetual virginity of the soul.  ~William B. Yeats Sex. It unites, and it divides. Sex can be the physical manifestation of intimate love — a physical expression of genuine, heartfelt love and admiration. Sex can be one of the most sacred unions between two people. Sex complements relationships...
Apr 27th
10 notes
5 tags
Tips for Creating Healthy Relationships
By Denise Humphrey, Ph.D., www.DeniseHumphrey.com One of the core desires of most humans is to have long-term, committed, happy and healthy intimate relationships. Most of us truly desire partnership and intimacy. We want feel appreciated and understood. By practicing the following tips, you and your partner can begin to discover the keys to successful, healthy relationships. Tips for Creating...
Apr 22nd
10 notes
6 tags
5 Tips for Being More Optimistic
By Denise Humphrey, Ph.D., www.DeniseHumphrey.com When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. While this old adage may seem oversimplified for people facing serious life challenges, there is great truth to the saying. There are many things we cannot control in life, but the mindset we have, the perspective we choose, and the attitude we adopt are all within our control. Research indicates that...
Apr 20th
5 tags
Therapeutic Benefits of Journaling
By Denise Humphrey, Ph.D., www.DeniseHumphrey.com Like talk therapy, journal and/or diary writing provides a safe, unbiased space for a person to express emotions openly and honestly. Journaling is a very useful tool for expressing grief and sorrow and can be tremendously helpful in assisting people through difficult and painful life experiences. Through journaling, we are are ble to get in...
Apr 15th
1 note
8 tags
Understanding Sex Addiction
By Denise Humphrey, Ph.D., www.DeniseHumphrey.com There has been a lot talk about sex addiction in the news lately — most notably Jesse James and Tiger Woods. What is sex addiction really? Is it a real “disorder” or is it a label men (or women) assume to excuse behavior many people consider inexcusable? By the standards set for by the American Medical Association, “sex...
Apr 13th
5 tags
Trust Your Gut
By Denise Humphrey, Ph.D., www.DeniseHumphrey.com As a therapist who specializes in relationship therapy, I have counseled many couples who have struggled with infidelity in the relationship or perhaps one person in the relationship suspects adultery. An article in Psychology Today explains, “Intuitions, or gut feelings, are sudden, strong judgments whose origin we can’t ...
Apr 8th
5 tags
Does Your Relationship Need a Pick-Me-Upper?
By Denise Humphrey, Ph.D., www.DeniseHumphrey.com Many couples complain about the lack of affection and intimacy in their relationship. All too often couples allow the everyday chaos and stress of life to interfere with “couple time.” With work, carpool, grocery shopping, home maintenance, cleaning and all the other mundane and necessary items on the weekly to-do list, it can be very...
Apr 7th
7 tags
Is It Time to End Your Relationship?
By Denise Humphrey, Ph.D., www.DeniseHumphrey.com Relationships are hard, but most things in life that are valuable and worth having do not come easily. We often invest years of our lives getting to know someone, loving someone and working towards building a lifelong relationship. And yet, sometimes, regardless of how much we want it or are willing we are to work to save it, relationships just...
Apr 1st
March 2010
9 posts
6 tags
Are You Ready for Adoption?
By Denise Humphrey, Ph.D., www.DeniseHumphrey.com For many people, although certainly not all, the choice to adopt a child is the result of many emotional and unsuccessful attempts at pregnancy. A person’s desire, or perhaps even need, to adopt a child is based on a vast range of complicated emotions. “Emotional readiness” refers to an individual’s readiness to begin...
Mar 31st
5 tags
Tips for Getting to Your Comfort Place
By Denise Humphrey, Ph.D., www.DeniseHumphrey.com Our “comfort place” is a state mind — a state in which we experience calm, safety and of course comfort. When we get into our comfort place, our bodies experience relaxation and peace. The stress, chaos and noise of the day is quieted and we are able to focus on ourselves — our feelings, our thoughts, our physical bodies....
Mar 25th
4 tags
Therapists as Patients
By Denise Humphrey, Ph.D., www.DeniseHumphrey.com “Every analyst ought periodically … to enter analysis once more, at intervals of, say, five years, and without any feeling of shame in doing so.” — Sigmund Freud (Freud, 1937/1963, pp. 267-268) Therapist are people too. They experience the same childhood, relationship, financial, and emotional...
Mar 23rd
7 tags
Overcoming the Fear of Therapy
By Denise Humphrey, Ph.D., www.DeniseHumphrey.com We all want to be our best. We seek the advise of experts whenever we have a medical, financial, or legal concern. Some people hire executive coaches to help them be their best professionally. We hire CPAs to ensure we get the best tax services possible. Our social norms encourage the employment of experts. And yet, many people neglect one of the...
Mar 19th
8 tags
Let the Sun Shine In
By Denise Humphrey, Ph.D., www.DeniseHumphrey.com Spring is a time of renewal. The trees begin to sprout new growth. Flowering buds appear on shrubbery and perennials. And we begin to crave the outdoors. The sun is out, the weather is warming and there is a subtle sense of joy about simply being outside. If you suffer from depression, or perhaps seasonal depression, the springtime can be a...
Mar 16th
1 note
9 tags
Learning to Trust Again
By Denise Humphrey, Ph.D., www.DeniseHumphrey.com We all bring our own “baggage” to relationships — childhood trauma, disappointments from previous relationships, deeply rooted ideas about gender roles and expectations, as well as subtle and unspoken beliefs about how relationships should look and function. All of this “baggage” can affect our ability to trust, or in...
Mar 11th
7 tags
Tips for Keeping the Romance Alive in Longterm...
By Denise Humphrey, Ph.D., www.DeniseHumphrey.com Intimate, romantic relationships can be one of the greatest sources of pleasure and personal satisfaction. As humans, we place tremendous value on our intimate, love relationships. When we are fortunate enough to have found the partnership we desire, the responsibility of nurturing that partnership and keeping the feelings of romance alive fall on...
Mar 9th
2 notes
7 tags
5 Tips for Experiencing Happiness
By Denise Humphrey, Ph.D., www.DeniseHumphrey.com Sadness, grief, loss, and even the occasional blues are normal emotions and reactions to challenging life circumstances. Happiness is also a normal emotional state. Yet, so many people struggle to feel happy even when they cannot identify a source of their discontent. 5 Tips for Feeling Happy Make a Happy Agenda. Sometimes we have to make...
Mar 4th
1 note
8 tags
Do You Suffer from a Fear of Abandonment?
By Denise Humphrey, Ph.D., www.DeniseHumphrey.com Many people — men, women and children — suffer from a fear of abandonment. While the basis of abandonment fears is usually set in childhood, abandonment issues often do not manifest until adulthood. People who suffer from fear of abandonment may be unaware that this fear, which is deeply rooted in the psyche, sets the stage for...
Mar 2nd
2 notes
February 2010
8 posts
5 tags
Living with a Gay Spouse
By Denise Humphrey, Ph.D., www.DeniseHumphrey.com Honesty, emotional intimacy and love are all essential components to a healthy marriage. When one spouse in a marriage “comes out of the closet,” these three essential components can be seriously tested for both spouses. However, some couples do manage to navigate the emotional and logistical sensitivities of living in a mixed...
Feb 25th
1 note
6 tags
Talk Therapy -- A Drug-Free Treatmeant for...
By Denise Humphrey, Ph.D., www.DeniseHumphrey.com Major depressive disorder is a mental disorder characterized by an all-encompassing low mood accompanied by low self-esteem, and loss of interest or pleasure in activities one might normally enjoy. People suffering from depression are often prescribed anti-depressant medication by their family practitioner, internist or psychiatrist. While...
Feb 23rd
5 tags
Tips for Coping with Anxiety
By Denise Humphrey, Ph.D., www.DeniseHumphrey.com Anxiety is a normal part of the human experience and can serve a healthy role in our lives. When we experience anxiety over an upcoming test, job interview, big presentation or an important decision, the anxiety can serve as a motivator for extra preparation. Anxiety becomes problematic when it interferes with one’s ability to enjoy life,...
Feb 18th
5 tags
Tips for Healing Your Broken Heart
By Denise Humphrey, Ph.D., www.DeniseHumphrey.com The pain of ending a relationship, whether you want it to end or not, can sometimes feel so overwhelming you think you may never recover. I am here to tell you that you will. You will recover, and your life will go on. And, you may even find that you are better for having had the experience — stronger, wiser and more sure than ever what you...
Feb 16th
6 tags
Benefits of Premarital Counseling
By Denise Humphrey, Ph.D., www.DeniseHumphrey.com If you and your partner are recently engaged or considering moving in that direction, you may want to consider engaging in pre-marital counseling. With all of the excitement, drama and stress of a proposal, planning the wedding, honeymoon and possibly living together for the first time, couples often forget to focus on what really matters —...
Feb 11th
9 tags
Give the Gift of Love this Valentine's Day
By Denise Humphrey, Ph.D., www.DeniseHumphrey.com What’s better than roses, champagne and chocolate on Valentine’s Day? Your time, your commitment and your willingness to give of yourself in your intimate relationship. This Valentine’s Day consider giving your spouse or significant other the gift of couple’s counseling. Through counseling, couples learn to communicate...
Feb 9th
6 tags
5 Tips for Managing Stress
By Denise Humphrey, Ph.D., www.DeniseHumphrey.com We live in a high stress culture. Working long hours and always being “at the top of our game” professionally are often directly associated with our sense of worth and value. Our high-tech lifestyle ensures that we are always available to the boss, clients, co-workers and friends, which severely blurs the boundaries between our...
Feb 4th
4 tags
5 Tips for Effective Communication
By Denise Humphrey, Ph.D., www.DeniseHumphrey.com The most important component to a healthy relationship is healthy communication. Learning how to effectively communicate not only strengthens the bond you share with your significant other, but it also provides a vehicle for reaching peaceful solutions during moments of conflict and crisis. Utilize these five tips the next time you need to engage...
Feb 2nd
January 2010
8 posts
7 tags
Tips for Overcoming Performance Anxiety
By Denise Humphrey, Ph.D., www.DeniseHumphrey.com Many people associate performance or anxiety with stage performers when in reality it can affect people and in many situations, such as public speaking, social communication, public appearance, athletics, intimacy, as well as artistic performance. Stage fright is a real psychological reaction to a great fear of embarrassment, whether that...
Jan 28th
1 note
8 tags
Navigating the Emotional Storm of Infertility
By Denise Humphrey, Ph.D., www.DeniseHumphrey.com Infertility affects more than a woman and man’s reproductive organs. Infertility can cause individuals to experience feelings of guilt, powerlessness, shame, negative self-worth, grief and a host of other emotions. Couples who have experienced multiple miscarriages must also navigate the roller coaster of emotions associated with this loss....
Jan 26th
10 tags
Understanding Abandonment
By Dr. Denise Humphrey, www.DeniseHumphrey.com I have heard it said, “Your childhood is over, now get over it!” If only it were that easy. With few exceptions, parents make a genuine effort in parenting to the best of their ability utilizing their own knowledge, access to resources and personal experiences as guiding factors. Parents are unable to predict and often unable to...
Jan 21st
8 tags
Understanding Mixed Orientation Marriages
By Dr. Denise Humphrey, www.DeniseHumphrey.com A mixed orientation marriage refers to a marriage in which one person is gay, lesbian, or bisexual, and the other person is straight. Due to cultural, religious and familial expectations about sexuality and gender roles, it is common for homosexual individuals to deny authentic sexual and lifestyle expressions and choose heterosexual relationships in...
Jan 19th
7 tags
Self-Care ... A Journey, Not a Destination
By Denise Humphrey, Ph.D., www.denisehumphrey.com We routinely cut and color our hair, visit the medical doctor for annual exams, workout at the gym and watch what we eat knowing that these are measures of self-care, not efforts at arriving at a perfect “me” that no longer requires attention and care. We know caring for our bodies is a journey, an attempt to slow the aging process...
Jan 14th
4 tags
What to Expect from Couple's Counseling
By Dr. Denise Humphrey Many couples who are considering entering a counseling relationship with a professional feel intimidated by the unknown. What will be expected of me as an individual? Will the information that unfolds hurt rather than help my relationship? I don’t have any real issues, it’s my partner that has the problem! These are just a few of the questions and statements I...
Jan 12th
Top 3 Reasons Couples Seek Therapy
By Denise Humphrey, Ph.D. In a perfect world, couples would seek therapy as a preventative measure rather than as a crisis management or “last ditch” effort. But the reality is that most people do not think their relationship would benefit from therapy until it is on the brink of falling completely apart. Through therapy, many couples find this “point of no return” to be...
Jan 7th
5 tags
New Year, New Relationships
By Dr. Denise Humphrey The New Year is always a time of reflection and fresh starts. While the holidays are meant to be times of family and togetherness, relationships that are struggling are often pushed to their limits during the holiday season. The New Year offers the opportunity to start anew. Based on preconceived notions and possible stigmas associated with therapy, couples may shy away...
Jan 5th