Is It Time to End Your Relationship?

By Denise Humphrey, Ph.D., www.DeniseHumphrey.com

Relationships are hard, but most things in life that are valuable and worth having do not come easily. We often invest years of our lives getting to know someone, loving someone and working towards building a lifelong relationship. And yet, sometimes, regardless of how much we want it or are willing we are to work to save it, relationships just do not work out. How do you know when it is time to move on? The following questions may help you determine if it is time to end your current relationship.

Have your wants and needs changed since you first became involved with your partner? Life is a journey that takes unexpected dips and turns. New experiences, people and beliefs often show up unexpectedly that change who we are and what we want in life. Have your core wants and desires shifted since you became involved with your partner?

Are you in a healthy relationship? Physically? Emotionally? Spiritually? Sexually? You should be able to communicate honestly and openly about the health of your relationship. If either person in a relationship is inflicting pain or harm in any of the above areas, this is an indication that the relationship is not healthy.

What does your future together look like? A healthy relationship has a shared view of the future outcome. Whether it is a shared view of marriage or a shared view of a longterm commitment without marriage — both individuals should be on the same path.

Do you truly enjoy each other’s company? Notice how you feel when you are about to see or speak to your partner. Are you excited or do you dread it? Our intimate relationships should be our closest. This person should be one of, if not, your dearest friend.

What is the level of reciprocity? Relationships are a partnership that require both individuals to give equally in the care and nurturing of it. This is not to say that we are to keep scores in terms of who takes the trash out more often, but rather that we should be cognizant that each person is giving and taking from the relationship in equal measure.

Are your partner’s actions indicative of a loving relationship? Are yours? Actions speak louder than words. Regardless of how often you and/or your partner say “I love you,” do your actions, and do your partner’s, indicate or express love?

Do you feel accepted and appreciated? If the answer is no, have you expressed this desire for appreciation to your partner? Did anything change?

We all engage in relationships for different reasons. Understanding what motivated your romantic involvement and determining if that reason still holds weight — or if new reasons have emerged for staying — can be a guide for whether or not the relationship itself should remain intact. Engaging the guidance of a professional therapist can be very helpful to one or both individuals in a relationship when faced with the question of whether or not to move on.

Denise Humphrey, Ph.D
Schedule an appointment with Dr. Humphrey today! 972-239-2490

CREDENTIALS
•    Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology:  Fielding Graduate University
•    Master of Music in Piano Performance:  University of Notre Dame
•    Bachelor of Music in Piano Performance:  Southern Methodist University
•    License No. and State: 32345 Texas
•    Board of Trustees, Dallas Foundation for Psychoanalysis
•    Chair, Arts Committee for the Dallas Society for Psychoanalytic Psychology
•    Member, National Register of Health Service Providers in Psychology