Tips for Creating Healthy Relationships

By Denise Humphrey, Ph.D., www.DeniseHumphrey.com

One of the core desires of most humans is to have long-term, committed, happy and healthy intimate relationships. Most of us truly desire partnership and intimacy. We want feel appreciated and understood. By practicing the following tips, you and your partner can begin to discover the keys to successful, healthy relationships.

Tips for Creating Healthy Relationships

• Be cooperative. Adopting a cooperative mindset does not mean agreeing to never disagree, but rather choosing to be cooperative when disagreements occur. Rather than thinking a problem is you against your partner, think about the problem in terms of, “It is us against the problem.” In other words, remember that you and your partner are on the same team. Together you care trying to determine a solution to the problem, which is very different than trying to determine who is right.
• Effectively express negative feelings. It is perfectly normal to have a negative feeling about something another person has said or done. However, couples in healthy relationships understand how to express these feelings without negatively affecting the relationship. The goal to effectively expressing negative feelings is to not put the other person on the defense. When we go on the defense, it becomes much more difficult to separate the behavior from the person doing the behavior. Rather than making accusations or demands, discuss with your partner how the particular action makes you feel. This allows him or her to address your feelings as opposed to feeling attacked for his/her actions. 
• Spend time together & communicate. All relationships need quality time together and heartfelt communications. Make a point to spend time with your partner regularly and actively engage in conversation. This demonstrates to each other that you both care about the other and you care about the relationship. Make time together a priority.
• Allow space in the relationship. There is a fine line between spending quality time together and suffocating each other. Healthy relationships need both, quality time spent together and quality time spent alone. In order to give our best to those we love, we must also give our best to ourselves. Allow your relationship to have enough space to care for your individual needs as well as the needs of each other. 
• Engage in couples therapy. Even the best of relationships can benefit from couples counseling. Couples counseling provides a safe space to discuss the challenges couples face. A therapist ensures that the conversation is objective and fair and guides the conversation so that each individual is able to express him/herself and helps the other party truly listen. This can be a tremendously rewarding experience for both individuals in the relationship.

Denise Humphrey, Ph.D

Schedule an appointment with Dr. Humphrey today! 972-239-2490

CREDENTIALS
•    Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology:  Fielding Graduate University
•    Master of Music in Piano Performance:  University of Notre Dame
•    Bachelor of Music in Piano Performance:  Southern Methodist University
•    License No. and State: 32345 Texas
•    Board of Trustees, Dallas Foundation for Psychoanalysis
•    Chair, Arts Committee for the Dallas Society for Psychoanalytic Psychology
•    Member, National Register of Health Service Providers in Psychology